This is one of my favourite films. Despite the theme of loss, the characters travel all over the world, seeing the most beautiful places. It is really a message about love and friendship. One character has had lots of love but not had the life experience he thought, full of knowledge about places he has never seen. The other character has seen it all but has not really allowed himself experience love.
They give to each other and realise that the greatest gift is the gift of their friendship.
If I were placed in the position of knowing my time was limited, I think I would want to make memories with my son and family and close friends. Making the time left with them have meaning. I would wish that they feel loved and have memories that bring laughter. For me that is what endures; the physical body may go but the love does not end.
In grief we need to hold on to some sort of consistency and it takes time to work through what is really important. Different things have huge importance at specific times. Senses are heightened away from the visual, smell, sounds, touch become so important. Initially it is some way of keeping the sense of the deceased alive, because the loss is so difficult to comprehend at an emotional level.
My wish would be to create experiences that over time they could remember and smile and laugh and know how much I loved them. There are places in the world I would love to see, but it is more about how you feel in the experience. There is really such beauty in the most simple things.
Day to day life is so very busy, constantly rushing from place to place but, we can.... if we just take a moment, notice something beautiful. Notice the robin singing his heart out in the tree outside the office. Notice a child's laughter in the park, notice that even now in the month of January when the sky is grey the snowdrops and daffodils are pushing through the earth as they do every year.
It is interesting that when we are on holiday or have time off our senses become more aware. We really don't need time off to notice beauty it is all around us and if we just take a few seconds to notice that moment of magic it can stay with us through out the day.
This moment does not have to be visual....can be the smell of fresh coffee, the feeling of warm water on your skin in the shower......
I challenge you..... just try it and feel the impact, it only takes a few seconds.....
I hope this poem resonates with those you are grieving .. in my personal experience there is a fear of letting go ... initially it feels surreal ... how has this happened?
Then the excruciating reality of the loss ... desperately trying to recall the voice ... the feeling of their touch the experience of being with them the need to keep the memory alive ...
after a time the desperation eases and the memories flow .. this brings tears but also eventually smiles at the joy and love shared ...
love never dies it just presents as a different energy to be embraced and folded into the heart where love resides x
My Black Coat
Where has my coat of colours gone?
Gone to a space with my happiness and my love.
I search and search but can not find, any colours in my mind.
I'm feeling numb and cold and shocked.... in limbo my emotions locked.
And in the corner of the room, a big black coat of doom................. doom doom.
It mocks and frightens me I think, that this black coat my only link..... to where I am inside and out.
I want to howl, I want to shout, but keep it in …........am terrified I feel a part of me has died.
A year has past I don't know how.....................in the house alone, just now,
my heart is aching, I rub my chest to ease this massive pain........I guess
and slowly tears being to fall, I am shouting out his name........... I call
I reach out for the big black coat and wrap it round me........... and I fall
Into the depths of my despair, I scream and howl it isn't right it isn't fair.
I wear the black coat all the time and slowly I accept it is mine
some days its heavy....................some days light but with this coat I no longer fight.
I wear my coat with pride you see because it is a part of me.
The years roll by and life moves on where has my coat of colours gone?
I close my eyes and then I see, the colours are in memories
My coloured coat was always there, I couldn't see it …..........was unaware
and so I look back and forward too, making memories anew for others when my time is done
Whatever coat I choose to wear.
I smiled a deep, connective smile at the prospect of this task, as ‘Tuesdays with Morrie’ was the first gift my late husband had given me. It deeply moved him and deeply moved me on reading. We continued over the years to gift each other the latest Mitch Albolm book published. We went to see the stage production in a tiny theatre in Dublin which only seated thirty people. The actors were marvellous, I remember speaking with the director afterwards saying “everyone should see this, it should be on in The Gaiety, .........& several years later it was.
In 2011 Leonie began studies at the The Tivoli Institute in Dún Laoghaire and qualified with an Advanced Diploma in Psychotherapy in 2015. She is accredited with the Irish Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy (IACP) and works in accordance with their Code of Ethics. She currently works in private practice and also is a member of the counselling team at An Cosán in Tallaght, Dublin.